But...Why is Normal a Baseline For Our Lives?

But…Why is “Normal” a baseline for our lives when there really is no such thing as “Normal”?

Do you ever think about what is normal? And then think, well that’s just my normal. What’s normal for my kids is completely different than it is for the kids across the street. What my daily normal is, is totally different than nearly all of my friends. So why then do we compare and compete with others when it isn’t even Normal? Animals don’t compare. And contrary to a standard of beliefs not all compete. Did you know Lionesses don’t compete with each other at all? They actually work as a team. They hunt as a community and raise their cubs as a communal nursery. There is no hierarchy among female lions. They’re fierce, proud, strong, resilient and cooperative. 

nor·mal

adjective: normal

    1.  conforming to a standard; usual, typical, or expected.

    "it's quite normal for puppies to bolt their food"

    synonyms:     usual, standard, ordinary, customary, conventional, habitual, accustomed, expected, wonted; More

So, if conforming to a standard is the definition of normal. Who defines that standard? I live in one of those ticky-tac suburban homes. Not gonna lie, it’s really nice—yes nice, pleasant, pleasing and bland. There’s lots of room and it’s clean (when not overtaken by the gremlins) generally safe and in a beautiful environment. And yet, there seems to be a stereotype for normal here. If you don’t mow and care for your lawns in a timely manner—that’s just not normal and therefore unacceptable. A family, consisting of a mother, father and multiple children is the norm here. I don’t fit into that mold. It is just me and my two boys. I am the only single parent (that I know of) in my neighborhood. I am constantly reminded of that fact. Not necessarily in a bad way but enough to feel Not Normal. I have been to many BBQ’s where the women are on one side of the table and the men on the other. I’ve sat at the head of the table and been able to have conversations with both the men and women on equal measure. Us women talked about the kids and coming school year and then I’ve turned and spoke with the men about cost and dealings of resurfacing a swimming pool. I’ve gone camping with the men when the women wouldn’t and then I've come home and gone to get my nails done with the women.

I don’t feel normal. But then I’ve never wanted to be normal. Because normal is nice—pleasant, right? Pleasing but BLAND.  And yet when we are different, unconventional, unexpected can we all still work as a team? Can we create a community where there is no hierarchy? Can we sustain our fierce, strong, resilient selves and still cooperate?

I would like that. I want my community, my pride. Where being outside of normal is the norm. Until then, I will continue the hunt like my fierce lionesses until I find it.